Monday, October 27, 2008

I hope I won't

(Image above is the work of John Baldessari)

My 15 hour Review is next Friday. Basically its a mid program review and a committee of 5 faculty members reviews my work, asks me a bunch of hard to answer questions and then tells me if I can go ahead and work towards my thesis or not. Sometimes I am ok and just want it to be over with already. Other days I slip into this terrified, hyperventilating, depressed, unconfident phase that makes me want to just walk away and go home. I get this pit in my stomach and I feel like I can't breathe. I shouldn't admit that. But I'm human. And seriously scared. Its hard to work so hard for something and not know if its going to be good enough. Its hard to work so closely on something and take an objective look at it. I really hope it goes well. I have a hard time verbalizing my thoughts about my work. Especially under pressure. My biggest fear is that they will think my work is boring. If you don't hear from me for a while, you know why.

9 comments:

Sara said...

Hmmm - some lady in SPAIN with great taste is featuring your work and you're going to tell me that you're intimidated by mere faculty? Okay, I would be too. Nothing wrong with admitting it, though. It helps the rest of us feel normal.

Adriana said...

You'll do great! Your work is amazing and I know that you are so passionate about what you do.

(I would be intimidated as well) Your passion, creativity, and hard work will be noted! It will get you through!

Shannon Duffy said...

You will do great, your work is amazing! I know the feeling, I had to do my review when I was six months pregnant! Talk about stomach cramps.... I thought I was going to go into early labor. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!!

Erin said...

We wish you the best! You'll do great! :)

Breanne said...

I thought you expressed yourself really well there actually. I agree about it being difficult to work so hard on something, not knowing the results or if it will be good enough, and I also completely agree about it being hard to be objective about a project (or anything for that matter) that you are so close to. I can't begin to imagine how your review wouldn't go well, but like Sara said, it's understandable and admirable that you're admitting it. Are those reviews to really narrow the group down or just to make sure no one is riding through grad school with little hard work?
GOOD LUCK!! You'll do great!

Ashley said...

I'll be thinking of you. Though I have no doubt of your talent, I can't imagine how nerve wrecking that must be.

Corey said...

You'll be great!

Lynette said...

Thanks you guys.

montserrat lacomba said...

My best wishes for you in your Review tomorrow!
Good luck!