Its funny. Just the other day I was thinking about how my blog is a very censored view of what I do. Then today I saw a friend and he commented to me about how it seems that lately I have had a lot of great opportunities involving my work. This is true. But here, I pretty much only share with you the things that go well, the ideas that work out, and the shows I get accepted to. What I don't share with you is all the things that don't go so well. The ideas that never work out, the failed attempts, the stack of rejection letters, the amounts of money I spend on materials with no guarantee of a return or steady income. Sometimes (okay, often) I spend weeks and weeks working out bad ideas, talking with peers, sketching, researching, reading, NOT sleeping, until an idea finally evolves into something I pursue. And even then, I often work on things that never reach fruition. I have so many pieces and parts of things that never became anything because they didn't work out. I have so many sketches of things that I will never make because they aren't very good ideas. I have applied to so many shows and publications that I didn't get into. This artist life that I am trying to live is not what it may seem to some. I don't just get to spend all day making things and having fun. Sometimes I spend days at my bench...just staring and flipping through books, trying to come up with something. It is hard...and sometimes very discouraging. There is so much self doubt, insecurity, and risk involved in this field. Everything I do is very personal to me. My work is who I am. Of course I love it and it is usually really fun, but not all the time. Anyway, I use this blog as a way to share what I am doing with my work, and I think maybe I need to balance more of what I share to be a more accurate representation of the good and bad. Not that I want to plaster my blog with all of my failures, but all those ideas that don't work out and the shows that I don't get into help me to grow, help my work to grow. Those things drive me to try new things, explore new ideas and take risks that I wouldn't maybe otherwise take. I am glad for those experiences and the struggles that I have to go through. If everyday was easy I don't think I would love what I do as much. I've always enjoyed a good challenge. If you don't believe me, just talk to my parents:)
So, from now on, expect a better mix of the ups and downs.
